my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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