sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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