don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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