Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i think i have herpe
just one?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
