I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
