Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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