no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I just shit out all my problems.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize