Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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