Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize