I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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