I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
