I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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