oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
