I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
