i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
