last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
