I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
