mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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