Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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