were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
