You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
