You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
