did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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