I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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