I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
