O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize