Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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