Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
