Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize