Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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