You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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