I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
