i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
