he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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