Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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