Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
