did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
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Can you bring me the toilet please
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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