why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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