I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
