Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
should my penis look like a turkey
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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