I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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