He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
