He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
did i just pee glitter
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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