My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize