did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
