SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he puts the penis in happiness.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
