Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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