Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
