this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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