if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
