If i come over, it means nothing
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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