Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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