your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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