Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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