The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
