dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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