that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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