do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
