me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
