i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
