Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
